Hermione, Just Relax
by SeverusMyLove
Summary: Hermione's stresses have finally gotten to her and Severus offers some relief.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me, and I am not making any kind of money off of this. This is for pure enjoyment. **

****I hope you all enjoy this fic. It was just a strange thought and I figured someone would enjoy it. Please let me know what you all think!

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"Severus, I can't take this anymore… I've had it!" Hermione huffed as she stomped around the potions lab at the Ministry.

Severus sat on a stool behind one of the lab tables, periodically stirring the cauldron in front of him as he watched the frazzled young woman vent her aggravations. They had been working together for three years now, and every so often one of them would snap under the pressure and need some time to decompress.

The Professor smirked, "What exactly has caused this outburst, Miss Granger?"

She glared at him darkly, "Damn it, Severus! How long have I been working here?! My name is Hermione, and you fucking know that!" taking a deep breath, the fiery witch realized he was intentionally riling her up, while effectively stopping her long enough to calm down, at least momentarily. Calmly, she continued, "We have been working for weeks trying to fill all of these orders for the infirmary at Hogwarts, St. Mungo's, and all of the other contracts that you have picked up, and all that was fine and we're just about finished with them. That on top of revising for my Mastery exam is also stressful, but nothing I can't handle. What I don't need are boys, who should be men by now, asking me to sort out their lives and help them with PAPERWORK!"

Severus barely concealed his snort, "By boys, I can only assume you mean -"

"Harry fucking Potter and Ronald bloody Weasley!" She finished for him.

Rolling his eyes, he continued on in an almost bored tone, "Well, is this something you can say no to? Can you tell them that you have more important matters to attend to? Or better yet, can you tell them to stop being children and take control of their own lives?"

Hermione deflated and sat down on the stool next to him. "Well of course I could do all of those things, and I should, but… I feel like that's the only reason they still keep in contact with me. I mean, they're both married and have their own families now. Yes I'm aunt Hermione, but what does that matter? I think I'm losing them and that's not something I want, but I can't put up with this bullshit either. I'm sorry Severus, I don't mean to unload on you, especially about stupid things like this."

"It obviously matters to you. How those two idiots have managed to upset you so is still baffling to me, but I can see that you are bothered. You have finished up the orders for St. Mungo's and the infirmary, correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well then, I think we can call it a day."

"Oh no, we don't have to stop! I'm calmer now and I can't go home and revise anymore. I think my eyes are going to fall out." She deadpanned.

"Well then join me out for a drink. Merlin knows you could use one."

Hermione bit her lip nervously, "I don't know Severus. I don't think a drink will help me out. It may just make me sad and I know you don't want to deal with a sloppy, drunk Hermione. Got any other solutions?"

Severus arched an eyebrow at the woman next to him and wondered just how adventurous this witch was, "Well…" he continued slowly, watching her attention sharpen and focus on him, "I may have another idea that could remedy your stresses and anxieties, and I'm almost positive it's something you have never tried before."

"Like what? A potion or something?" Hermione questioned.

"Not exactly. It's more herbal in nature…" He trailed off hoping she would catch on. Hermione's face still looked inquisitive and obviously, the shoe never dropped.

Severus huffed, "I'm talking about weed, Hermione. Marijuana. Pot. Grass. Whatever."

The look of dawning realization happened all at once accompanied with a gasp of surprise, "Severus! I can't smoke pot! Are you kidding me? Oh my God! Do you smoke pot?" She was almost shrieking by the end of her tirade.

"If your voice gets any more shrill, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. And yes, you can smoke pot, and yes I do occasionally light up. Usually on a day like today or when I'm particularly bored."

Hermione snorted, "I can't even imagine you being bored, let alone bored enough to smoke pot. I don't know Severus… I mean it's illegal and mind altering! What if I do something weird?"

"Hermione, I'm not going to force you. I'm sure you would be fine and if you are in the privacy of your own home, there's really nothing to worry about except maybe a lingering smell. It was just an idea and I will not hold it against you if you say no."

"Well…" Hermione started after some contemplative lip biting, "I guess I can try it, right? If you think it will calm my anxieties, then I will give it a go. How do you smoke it? I've seen some of those crazy glass things but I don't know if I can do anything like that..."

A satisfied smirk broke out over Severus' face as he stood up from the stool and started to clean up his station and gather his things. He nodded to Hermione to do the same. As she was cleaning up, he answered her inquiries, "I usually do smoke out of one of those "crazy glass things", as you so eloquently put it, but we can use a bowl or a one-hitter since it's your first time. I'll have to pick up, so would you be more comfortable at your house or mine? I prefer not to be out in public; I've had to obliviate a few police officers in my time…" he trailed off.

Hermione had stopped cleaning and was staring wide eyed at the Professor. She couldn't believe everything she was hearing. He stared expectantly back at her before she realized he had asked her question.

Shaking off her daze she answered, "Sorry, er, your place would be preferable. I'll run home to change and then be right over. Did you really obliviate… oh never mind, of course you did." Hermione did a quick adjustment of her work robes and scurried out of the lab. She just missed Severus' chuckle.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, and I make nothing off of this. **

**Thanks for the reviews and all of the follows/favorites. It means a lot! I hope you enjoy this installment, and remember, it's not over yet. **

**Explicit drug use. This is not a "how to", even though it reads like one. Don't do drugs, kids. No matter how fun they are. **

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Severus apparated just down the street from Spinner's End and walked casually toward his home. The place still had the rundown, dilapidated look to it on the outside, but on the inside it was clean, sturdy, and warm. As he approached, his wards alerted him that Hermione was already inside, and he couldn't help but smirk. The girl had been to his home a few times usually to retrieve supplies or books, but he had never left her, or anyone for that matter, alone in his home. He could only imagine what she was doing in there. Shaking his head, he walked in.

The Professor walked into his living room to find his apprentice pacing in front of the lit hearth. He looked around and noticed that she had brought some "supplies".

"Hermione?" he said quietly, startling her into a yelp of surprise, she stopped pacing and glared at him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you." He chuckled and gestured to the coffee table, "What is all of this?"

"Oh you know, some extra lighters, candles, cheese puffs, milk duds, some eye drops for later, I brought some music, and a few DVDs that are considered 'stoner flicks'. Am I forgetting anything?" Hermione asked worriedly.

"Just that I'm not a cliché." Severus replied trying desperately not to outright laugh at the girl. "I won't object to the snacks, though. Forever the insufferable know it all…" he trailed off. "Let me go change into something more comfortable. I'll be out momentarily."

As the Professor walked out of the living room, Hermione plopped down onto the worn leather sofa. She had decided on some leggings and a large maroon sweater that she proceeded to curl herself up into. She had never been in Severus' home for more than a few minutes at a time and she wasn't sure how to be comfortable in it. Severus returned a few minutes later in a pair of faded jeans and a black long-sleeved thermal. Hermione's eyes widened as she blatantly looked the man up and down.

"It's not polite to stare, Miss Granger." Severus chastised teasingly, before sitting down next to her on the couch and pulling a small baggie full of little green buds from his pocket. "What? Did you think I lived in my work robes? Stop gawking and relax. I'm going to explain to you how to do this, so pay attention."

Hermione moved closer to the Professor as he donned his lecturing tone, and she watched with rapt attention. She had never seen anyone do this before, and she, of course, wanted to be good at it.

Severus pulled out a small glass pipe looking thing that was swirled green and black. "This is a small glass bowl. They come in a few different shapes and sizes; this is pretty basic. This opening here that looks like a bowl, is where you pack the weed. The weed itself should be broken up and the stems removed. Some will use another device called a grinder to do this and to extract some more potent bits called keef. We will not be doing this because I seem to have misplaced my grinder. You pack the bowl with as much as you desire to smoke."

Severus packed the bowl and looked up to find Hermione's eyes taking in all the information and committing it to memory. He had to smirk, the witch was so fixated on what he was doing that she was almost in his lap. He continued on with his instructions,

"There is a small opening on the side of the bowl. You cover this with your finger while you light the weed and pull the smoke with your mouth. When you feel that there is enough smoke in the pipe, you release your finger, and the smoke is released into your mouth. From there it is up to you to hold it in your mouth, which is what I would recommend the first few times until you get accustomed to the feeling, and blow it out through your mouth and/or nose. As you get more comfortable, you can attempt to inhale the smoke into your lungs. Inhaling into your lungs gives you a better high. Exhaling through your nose, can also enhance your high. It may, and probably will, burn and you may be slightly overwhelmed initially, but try not to swallow smoke. Are you following me?"

Hermione looked up and met his eye, "I think I've got it. Can I watch you do it first to see what to do exactly?"

"Of course. Now, hand me one of those many lighters you decided to bring along." He teased and Hermione had the sense to look a little embarrassed as she handed him a lighter.

Severus brought the glass bowl to his lips, covered the small opening on the side, and lit the green plant. Hermione watched in fascination as he sucked in little puffs and filled the pipe with a cloudy smoke. He released his finger, and all the smoke went right into his mouth. He moved the pipe away from his lips and just held his lips shut while he inhaled. He held his breath for a few seconds before exhaling the smoke from his nose and lips.

"That was incredible." Hermione whispered. It looked so effortless and strangely mystifying. She could watch him smoke all day, but she also desperately wanted to try.

"Mmm… your turn. Would you like me to light it for you?" Severus murmured.

"Yes, please." Hermione answered as she accepted the pipe from the dark man next to her. She held it just as he instructed, finger over the hole, and lips around the end of the pipe. Severus looked at her and arched an eyebrow at her. She nodded her readiness. He leaned in close and lit the bowl. Hermione pulled until the pipe filled, looking up to Severus for approval. He smirked and nodded to her again. She released her finger and immediately had a mouth full of smoke and her throat was burning.

Spluttering, she cried, "How do you keep it in for so long." Followed by a few minutes of coughing. While she coughed Severus plucked the bowl from her fingers and took a few more hits himself. After she calmed down, he stared at her with narrowed eyes, and a small smile playing at his lips,

"Again. Now you know what it will feel like. Pull less smoke, or make more room in your mouth. I know you can take it. I am getting sufficiently stoned, so you, my dear, need to catch up. Take a few turns and practice."

With a fresh sense of determination, Hermione took the bowl from Severus' offered hand. She held out her other hand for the lighter as well, and proceeded to light her own bowl. Severus was slightly impressed and lounged back, watching her, and critiquing her technique as she took several more small hits. A few coughing fits later and she was exhaling the smoke through her nose and inhaling. "Definitely an over achiever, even in something as illicit as drug use" Severus mused to himself and had to really reign in his urge to laugh.

The pair of them had smoked through a bowl and a half, and Severus decided it would be a good idea to take a break to gauge her reaction to the drug. "How are you feeling, Hermione?" Severus asked quietly.

"I feel calmer and my face feels a little heavy, but I really don't feel super affected. Maybe it just doesn't affect me."

"Oh really? Well maybe you should try sitting up straight then." He finished with a mock scowl that quickly dissolved into a laugh as Hermione's eyes widened and she pulled herself up.

"Shit." Hermione said before also dissolving into a fit of laughter, pitching forward and leaning up against Severus' side. They leaned against each other, enjoying the heaviness of their bodies and the contented feeling that was overwhelming them both.

"Severus… this is awesome…." Hermione hummed as she leaned against him a little more. He was a little surprised, but hummed in agreement nonetheless and decided to try his luck. He pulled away from her slightly and was delighted to her the slight huff of protest, before putting his arm around the witch and pulling her back against him.

"This is much more comfortable and you are nice and warm." Severus murmured.

Hermione snorted, "I never thought I'd hear that from you. You're really just a creature of comfort aren't you? That's fine with me, Severus. Cuddle up if you feeeeel the urge."

"Severus Snape doesn't cuddle." He growled as he pulled her closer and formed more comfortably around her. He missed Hermione's smile, and she missed his as they laid on the couch curled up in each other, and drifted off into a peaceful slumber.


End file.
